It's been 2 years since I found you in the big metal garbage bin behind our duplex. You see, I hope you don't remember this, but you had a family before us. I guess they didn't want you though, because they literally threw you away. Luckily I found you! Lucky for you, not so lucky for my wallet. When we first met, I didn't think you were much to look at.
Your fur was thin, dirty and had a weird oily texture, even after the bath I gave you.
You were so skinny your face looked like the kitty version of skeletor and I could see the weird little joints in your tail, and all your ribs but the prescriptions kitten food from the vets fixed that.
Ear infections in both ears, and a upper respiratory infection, but the vet had some nice pills and ear drops for that, they were oh so easy to give to you as well!
The ear mites you had were gross but at least you didn't give them to my other cat. You did however have more fleas than I have ever seen before in my life, and in the winter. You were kind enough to share them with everyone! And, I learned though you, that excessive fleas give way to tapeworms. Oh joys! Luckily, the humans didn't get that one, just you and my other cat. That was pricey AND gross.
You aren't gross, parasitic and skinny anymore. In fact, now that malnutrition is never an issue, your coat is a glossy black, soft, thick and you have no bones showing! In fact, I have had guests see you walk into a room, and they gasp "oh my what a gorgeous cat!"
And than they discover your "personality"
You are batshit crazy. The vet says it is likely brain damage from severe malnutrition when you were developing. I like to call it, crackhead cat syndrome. You tear around my house like a meth addict being chased by miniature leprechaun cops. I have had to put all my vases, pictures frames, knick knacks and decorations in storage. You eat everything, food and non-food items so that I have to put away all loose items, dimes, paper, the necklace my grandmother gave me, the little plastic do-dads that come with bread ect.
The librarian officially hates me, and I have spent a fortune on replacement fees because for some reason you hate literature and shred any books come near, and if I do put it up, you just climb up and knock it down to destroy it. You run into walls at top speed for no apparent reason. I have had to rearrange my furniture because you enjoy jumping from my bookcase onto my stomach while I lie on my couch, I guess that "OOF" sound is just too tempting.
Despite all affection and treats I offer you, you prefer to be mauled by my small child relentlessly and without mercy. When I finally convince my child to let you alone, you follow after him begging for more.
All that being said, I love you. I am so glad you are in our family you stupid, weird, insane cat.
Happy Birthday Garbage Kitty!
LOL, Sheenagh! I haven't heard the term "batshit" in years. They do clean up nicely, don't they?
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