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Friday, March 7, 2014

Pain, Betrayal and the Remorse: The Story of a Dog

It has been brought to my attention in the past few days, that due to my criticism of certain choices made by staff at the THS, certain individuals have maligned and viciously attempted to undermine and attack me and others on the basis that we have no moral ground on which to stand.  It is a predictable and common ploy of bullies, individuals with low self-esteem and fragile egos, to fight back with words and rumours and half-truths, in an effort to undermine and attack anyone who gainsays their choices or their beliefs.

These ploys (I just recently learned) included hiding behind false profiles and posting vicious comments on various facebook pages (which were apparently removed before i could read them)- as well as incorrect information levied against other individuals for actions which were mine alone.

I am also cognizant that bullies will often label those who disagree with them as fanatics, as unbalanced nutbars, as people who have no moral stance from which to argue or nay say how their world is perceived.

As such, I am going to share with readers the story of my Darcyman - because a half-vocalized rumour which labelled a friend as someone who killed one of her dogs is actually (I believe) an accusation that should have been levelled at me.

Over the next week, I'll share my story; it is one that I have tried to write again and again. Writing for me is a form of catharsis - a way to concretely formulate my thoughts in black and white, a way to lance the emotions which sometimes threaten to overwhelm when a profound experience has brought with it a swelling of thought, emotion and angst that is almost impossible to internalize.  It is a story I haven't shared with readers not because of shame or any attempt to place myself firmly on moral ground ( we are, each of us, fallible creatures after all) -but because even today the wound is so raw, so agonizing that i find it difficult to talk about.

But before I begin, I need to talk about where I stand on the current controversy surrounding the question of euthanasia.

Anyone who knows me - whether as a friend, a workmate, a fellow volunteer or even an acquaintance should be familiar with my stand on euthanasia. I have certainly written about it enough and because I have an implacable sense of fairness, I have always tried to be clear on my stance when it comes to controversial issues.  I am fully cognizant that the parameters wherein one deems euthanasia a viable choice is one of those fraught with emotion and passion.

I have never categorically denied there is sometimes a need to euthanize.  I have always been clear on what I consider - as an individual - to be the parameters which make it sometimes a viable  and even humane choice.  For ME, these include when an animal is in pain which cannot be addressed nor rectified; when an animal is dying and the coming death brings with it agony and anxiety and emotional pain; when an animal has irredeemable behavioural issues - and herein is where the controversy and the differences usually arise....

For me, that means that every effort has been expended, every avenue explored, every attempt made to correct dangerous behavioural issues before even considering that the animal is irredeemable.  These kind of efforts take time and patience as well as perseverance and a willingness to step outside the box in order to look at the bigger picture. It means consulting experts and making changes in your life and in the environment.

And it means, sometimes, even the most passionate efforts come to naught and the decision has to be made.

These kind of efforts cannot be achieved without time and a willingness to put in the effort required to possibly make a change.  Which is where my argument with the THS arises.  With Hetzel- who was with them less than 2 months in an emotionally fragile state of mind, beset by hormonal and instinctual imperatives.  With Icy, the Siberian husky who was older but hale and hearty and sweet and euthanized less than 24 hours after he was surrendered.  With RikTik who was the final straw that broke me and made me walk away 18 month ago.

But in the interests of fair play, I will in the next few blogs, tell you about how I won, loved and then killed my Darcy - a dog who took with him a piece of my soul when I betrayed him and walked him to his death.


1 comment:

  1. You did EVERYTHING possible for your beloved Darcy. You are an angel and you are my hero! Xox

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